Dating

7 Aug

“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
– Song of Solomon 8:4

 

At youth group last night we talked about dating. It was interesting. I like to hear what teens, especially Christian teens, have to say about the topic. However, it breaks my heart when I hear Christian teens saying that their dating lives (or whatever you want to call that) should be no different than someone’s who isn’t a Christian… i.e. it is okay to date a different person every week, it’s no big deal; it’s just harmless fun.

One of our youth leaders talked about how when you date somebody, or get emotionally attached to them, you essentially give pieces of yourself to them. I have come to realize that this is hard for some people to understand. “How can you give people pieces of yourself???” Well, after coming home last night and doing some reading, I found a great example of it:

While emotional attachment is natural and appropriate, it’s unwise to emotionally attach to guys over and over, assuming that each boy you go out with must be The One. To understand why, imagine two paper hearts, one red and one black. Apply glue to each and press them together, allowing plenty of time for the glue to dry. Once the two hearts are bonded, pull them apart. What happens? Black fibers remain stuck on the red heart and red fibers cling to the black. The object lesson is this: When you get attached to someone, you will always keep a part of that person with you, tucking those memories into your trunk of emotional baggage and eventually dragging them into your marriage where you may be tempted to compare your husband to one or all of your previous boyfriends. Also keep in mind that some parts of your heart, once given away, can never be given to someone else, such as first love, first kiss, and first sexual experience.

“Every Young Woman’s Battle,” pg. 148

(Just a side note, there are many things I disagree with in this book, but that particular section is one I believe is dead-on.)

Also at youth group, they gave us a paper to read.  I thought it was pretty amazing. So here it is:

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another; to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But to the Christian, God says:

“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me. To have an intense, personal, and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering only in Me is your satisfaction to be found. Only then will you be capable of the wonderful human relationship that I have planned for you. For you will never be united with another until you are united with Me.

So, I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me and expecting Me to do the greatest of things! Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you. You just wait, that’s all.

Don’t be anxious and don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things you want. Just keep looking up and away to Me, or you will miss what I want to show you. When you’re ready, I will give you a love far more wonderful than any you could ever dream of.

I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time – when you are both satisfied with Me and the life I have prepared for you. Only then will you be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and thus, Perfect Love.

And, dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love. I want to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and for you to enjoy materially the everlasting union of love that I offer you.”

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