Best Christian Pick-up Lines

11 Jul

So, I find Christian pick-up lines to be absolutely hilarious. Here are some of my favorites:

– “I didnt believe in predestination until tonight.”
– “Mark Driscoll takes up 35% of my iPod memory.”
– “My favorite species of vegetation is the church plant.”
– “Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead.”
– “I hear there’s going to be a love offering tonight.”
– “Is this pew taken?”
– “How would you like to join my purpose-driven life?”
– “You’re totally depraved but I’d still like to go out with you.”
– “Me. You. Song of Solomon: the remix.”
– “Can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?”
– “Do you need prayer? Because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you.”
– “I’m one of the fortunate ones… Greek and Hebrew come pretty easily to me.”
– “Hi, I’m Calvin. You were meant to choose me.”
– “Is your name Grace, because you’re irresistible?”
– “Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV Travel Bible in your pocket?”
– “So, my parents are home… you wanna come over?”

Also, I found these Christian break-up lines to be pretty hilarious as well:

– “I’m sorry, I’ve found someone more spiritual.”
– “I’m sorry, it’s just not God’s will.”
– “I feel called to the ministry… very soon and very far from you as soon as possible.”
– “At least I got a lot out of our Bible studies together.”
– “I think we should just be prayer partners.”

And my favorite of all…

“I do love you, but it’s just agape now.”


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